Floater's Digest Volume 5: Terrible Object Pot Pie

Floater’s Digest Volume 5 - Terrible Object Pot Pie

November 30, 2024

Our mission was simple.

Make the best damn fake weasel sales management software for half the price of the competition.

Even with a mission this simple, we screwed the pooch. The pooch became pregnant and gave pooch-birth to this play:

CARNELIAN GULGUTHA: I’m going to poison my watch-repairman by putting a scorpion inside my watch that will attack him when he removes the back-plate.

SUPERNOVA THE CRAB: Why would you do that?

CARNELIAN GULGUTHA: Same reason Bill Gates has a dog.

SUPERNOVA THE CRAB: Why is that?
CARNELIAN GULGUTHA: He just happens to have a dog.

(at the end of the play, in unmistakable scorpion handwriting, there was this note)

“The fifth volume of the acclaimed flotsamizdat of jetsamsara, Floater’s Digest, will be out November 30th”

I asked the play, out loud: “Real talk?”

I felt a scorpion tap on my back and turned around. There was Supernova.

“Real talk” he said.