Floater's Digest Volume 1

This is the inaugural issue of Floater's Digest.

The first bug-bite of the summer of ideas that will last the rest of your sublimely unreasonable life. A real rip-stick to the shin-bone of a dog-dictionary. A real toilet paper humor / linguistic three card monte / Edwardian drama sundae. We're basically trying to sneak a couple pumpkins out the patch in our pet pelican's throat sac with this one. Yup. Just trying to t-shirt cannon ourselves into the pantyhose boutique on top of Yankees stadium. 88 pages of present life regression. Precocious middle schoolers fear us, halloween obsessed cougars want to be us. Grind it up and make into tea. Pour it on a grave with a funny name. Use it as a 1/8 inch step-stool to reach the shelf where the Great Mistake of your life is kept. Stick it in your nose, pull your ear, and flush it down your brain. Whatever you do, remember, our mission was simple - to make an affordable, delicious, low calorie crispy rice snack cake that satisfies those midday grumblies without breaking the bank or your belt. Thank you chef.